Fishermen Are Idiots

Calm seas after a long rough day…

“There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot” (Steven Wright)

It’s 5am and Capt Freddy Gamboa (Andreas Toy Charters) insists that the distant offshore seas are somewhat less than the 6-8ft inshore seas and are expected to “lay down” later in the day. The air temperature is a couple of degrees below freeing, the water temperature is a few degrees above freezing, the tilefish bite is over 60 miles away, we have a 28ft center console, and I am thinking that this trip is “not going to happen”.

An hour later I was lamenting my choice of an OHO top with a rubber bottom and a very stylish (but not very waterproof blue fleece top) as the wind picked up every other wave and threw it in my face. My mate Kyle Ondrey was trying to hide behind me and was only getting hit with every third or fourth wave. My co-host Capt Rich was in Andreas Toy somewhere abeam of us with our camera crew. They had hunkered down beneath the wind dodger and were only marginally less miserable.

I had nearly four hours to think about how stupid this was before we reached the edge of the canyon and started filming.  We banged out a pretty decent tilefish show (sitting down most of the time) and an hour later we were on our way back home.  Freddy was right, the wind did start to lay down and by the time we got back to shore it was nice enough to take pictures of the fish we caught.  I remember the fish pretty well, and time has dulled the suffering…

Fishermen are idiots. We only seem to remember the great bites, but never the misery getting there and back. We are willing to endure hours (days) of mind numbing boredom for 15 minutes of action and or a shot at the “right fish” (have you ever fished for Black Marlin in Panama or as a casual hobby like Jimmy John Shark does?). Most ten year olds are smarter than we are because they have the good sense to beg for pizza when the bite sucks.

Here are some of the things I have learned about fishing:

It is NEVER calmer around the next point of land, the wind will somehow be blowing at a different angle and the current will be running right against it. Your wife, girlfriend, or children will probably never believe another word you say.

There is a much better chance that the offshore wave heights will be bigger than predicted rather than smaller. If the trip out is crappy, you can count on the trip back being at very least “crappier”.

When you finally have a compelling need to use your radar and turn it on for the first time in months (years), it will certainly not work. There is nothing thrilling about navigating in zero visibility using only your GPS. Worse yet, there will certainly be others out there going way too fast in boats that don’t even have radar!

The spot where your buddy “killed them” yesterday will be barren by the time you get there (and you will certainly stay long enough to miss the tide) and strangely he chose to fish somewhere else that day (and he killed them again)!

Your “secret spot” will only remain a secret if you never go there (ever). The buddy you took there and swore to secrecy will find some life or death reason to fish there on a sunny Saturday morning in July.

Tight lines…I am sure I will see you many miles offshore disappearing in the troughs while stalking early season bluefin in the rain…

Here is a preview clip showing how nasty it was that day